tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219106691444162656.post7023081691750482177..comments2023-07-22T06:14:43.457-05:00Comments on Trying To Be Clever: Headline Gamemattwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07934926340973044413noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219106691444162656.post-22709529429019923052008-08-18T19:25:00.000-05:002008-08-18T19:25:00.000-05:00Matt Warnock received a police escort today to the...Matt Warnock received a police escort today to the Federal Courthouse in DC.<BR/><BR/>He has agreed to enter the witness protection program after his testimony against the man known only as John the Scientist and against the secret organization suspected in the fall of Tongo CEO Shawn Powers, the UCF.<BR/><BR/>After the death of the man known only as Eric, Warnock claimed to have received threats from John the Scientist, and a man known only to police as "Jim."<BR/><BR/>Another witness, called only Janiece to help protect her anonymity, was quoted as saying, "That Jim is a complete asshole. And John the Scientist? I wouldn't trust him farther than I could throw his car. I'm glad Matt had the nerve to stand up to 'em."<BR/><BR/>The trial begins next week.Random Michelle Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13817444379694818074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219106691444162656.post-48008238510244382262008-08-18T15:35:00.000-05:002008-08-18T15:35:00.000-05:00Long acknowledged as the editing mastermind and gh...Long acknowledged as the editing mastermind and ghost writer behind the the collaborative business bestseller by Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, Matt and his family live a reclusive life on their gated enclave known only as "The Farm". His eldest son is rumored to be dating the youngest Gates daughter, but the paparazzi have yet to confirm that with a picture.<BR/><BR/>Matt, a commercial-rated pilot, has recently taken delivery on this year's newest Lear Jet. He plans to fly members of the mysterious secret society known only as the UCF to Singapore for the next Worldcon, where it's rumored the group will determine the Hugo vote.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219106691444162656.post-15769225559851955942008-08-18T12:19:00.000-05:002008-08-18T12:19:00.000-05:00"She kind of runs the show around here."Too true."She kind of runs the show around here."<BR/><BR/>Too true.mattwhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07934926340973044413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219106691444162656.post-62873880804425642412008-08-18T12:18:00.000-05:002008-08-18T12:18:00.000-05:00Milquetoast Librarian Attempts to Breaks Speed Rec...<STRONG>Milquetoast Librarian Attempts to Breaks Speed Record in Experimental Plane</STRONG><BR/><BR/>Milquetoast librarian Matt Warnock today failed to break the air speed record in his experimental plane "Bite Me."<BR/><BR/>Tired of his persona as a quiet, not-man-of-action, Mr. Warnock decided to attach the cockpit of his plane to a Saturn Rocket in an effort to break the air speed record and establish his street cred. <BR/><BR/>Unfortunately, the intrepid adventurer used only a soldering iron to attach his cockpit, so the structure fell apart prior to leaving the ground.<BR/><BR/>When asked about this ill-fated attempt, Mr. Warnock was quoted as saying, "I was going to use an arc welder, but I had to reshelve some books over at the library. I'd like to try again, but I don't think my wife is too hip on that idea. She kind of runs the show around here."<BR/><BR/>Mrs. Warnock could not be reached for comment.Janiecehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14190655869710465713noreply@blogger.com