1. Mystery meat (of what I believe is the sausage (salami-esque) variety) will not be good because it is grilled. Even with spices on it.
2. When a napkin is wadded up and thrown into the wax of a burning candle, it will provide more light for you to rip wall paper down in the dark when there is no power at your father-in-law's house. A second napkin will create a larger flame with even more light. However, the napkins will not absorb and burn off wax fast enough to counter the heat output. Therefore, by the time you realize how stupid it is to have a large candle with two napkin wicks burning under the counter and you're able to put it out, you will have a large puddle of cooling purple wax on the floor.
3. A ten-month-old is capable of producing "spit up" which is not too bad and easy to clean up, and then a ten-month-old can actually vomit, which requires a bath. In the case of the latter, it is also easier to clean up when the ten-month-old is only clad in a diaper.
4. When you're boss comes by to ask you a question and you have one earbud in, you shouldn't throw the earbud aside without a glance, because then it will land in your coffee mug, which is full of hot coffee. Of course, by the time you notice, the earbud will be thoroughly soaked, warm and will not play nearly as loud as it did moments before.