Friday, September 12, 2008

Not Much to Say Today

It's a slow/quiet day here in the office, which makes it really hard to get stuff done. Also, after coming off of the huge deadlines on Monday, there's a couple days of detox/depressurization that usually culminates in the completion of busy work.

I've been in a really foul mood this week and it's left me with little love of work and many other things. I think I've been using the business at work as a kind of shield against all the bad stuff that's happened over the last week, and now that it's slowed down over the last couple days all the stuff I've been pushing back has come crashing down on me. I'm trying hard not to be short with everyone at home, and I'm trying to not get so easily irritated at work (both jobs), as I've been want to do this week.

On top of that, we had our annual benefits update meeting yesterday and our benefits cost is going up $90 per month. Money is already tight, and this doesn't help things at all. If I would have gotten a raise this year, at least that would have covered the extra insurance cost, but no such luck there. I may be polishing off my resume soon. It's a shame because I really like the environment that I work in and the people I work with, but that wont keep my family in food and clothes.

I feel like I should be writing more and rewriting what I've got, but I just can't motivate myself to do it, which makes me feel worse, which makes me feel less like's a shitty cycle.

I worry about Logan all the time. I don't think I've said anything about it here, but at his 18-month check up his doctor was concerned that he wasn't saying as many words as she thought he should. We looked into a program with the state and they recommended speach, developmental and occupational therapy for him. He's doing the therapy and we're seeing results, but I just worry that he might have problems later on. At the initial assessment, they said he had some skills that were below where they should be for his age, some that were right on for his age and some that were way ahead of where he should be. I know every kid's going to develop differently, but as a parent I can't help but worry.

I worry about Brandi. I can't ever understand how deeply she was affected by the loss of the baby last week. I just want her to be happy again, really happy and there's nothing I can do about it.

Things will turn around eventually, but until then I just don't know. I don't have all the answers. My parents say they worry that I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders and that it's going to wear me down, but honestly, what adult doesn't carry around a lot of weight.

Ok, that's enough of that.

In other news, I saw a Decepticon on the way to work this morning. It's vehicle form was a fork lift, which I thought was pretty sneaky, but I saw it's symbol and now know it's true identity. If you see a fork lift acting funny, driving on it's own, talking, or anything else suspicious, watch out. You may want to call the Autobots into action, although I don't know how to get in touch with them.

This weekend we're going to Holland, MI. We'll be driving up on Sunday and staying overnight. Monday I have an interview and factory tour to conduct at a woodworking shop up there. Then we'll come home Monday afternoon/evening. We'll still be a few hours away from Shawn, but closer than we were last weekend. Saturday I have to work at the library and then we're going to a surprise 18th birthday party for one of Brandi's cousins.

Guess I had more to say than I thought. That's all for now. Talk to y'all later.

1 comment:

vince said...

Sometimes being a parent isn't easy. When she was born, my daughter had some medical problems. Nothing life threatening, but it required us doing things to her she was very unhappy about, and listening to her cry and knowing she wasn't hurting, just uncomfortable, but that she had to be to fix the problem, wasn't fun.

And yeah, you learn that averages are averages, and no two kids develop identically.

Hope your weekend will let you guys relax. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers.