Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Changing Alliances

A recent shift in alliances has created a dynamic change within the household. I have been cast aside like some emptied snack trap bowl. That’s right, Logan is, for the time being at least, no longer daddy clingy. He has gone back to mommy as the preferred parent, Thus are the whims of a two year old.

For the first year of life he was more attached to Brandi, which is to be expected, because for much of his first year she provided much of his nourishment. Then around his first birthday there was a sudden change and he wanted to be around me more. Initially, I couldn’t stand up and take a step without him crying and thinking I’ve abandoned him. It slacked off a lot, but I was still the go to guy if we were both around. In some instances, if we’re out and about, I’m still the go to guy (as of Thanksgiving) but that’s not the case around the house.

The last couple nights I’ve gotten the toddler version of the evil eye, which is a really serious stare, sometimes followed by pouting or crying. I believe the change is associated with discipline, but since Brandi disciplines him just as much, more if you consider the time I’m at work, I don’t understand why he isn’t gravitating to me more.

Last night, with both of us home, we gave Logan the option of who he wanted to put him to bed. He choose mommy. I have been putting him to bed every night I’m not at work (typically two nights a week) for more than a year. In a way it was nice for Brandi to do it, but then I also missed sitting with him in his room, reading stories as we sit in the glider.

Now if Brandi isn’t home, I’ll do in a pinch for him, but as sonn as she comes home, it’s all mommy all the time. I can totally understand now why Brandi would sometimes stick out her lip when she had been home with him all day, yet I got the cheers and giggles when I got home from work.

He has also started to broaden his interests. He has been into cars and trains, particularly Thomas the Tank Engine (and we all know how I feel about that), for a long time, but now he’s started to like Bob the Builder more (I have insights on Bob planned for later this week). He has started to go into the junk drawer, pull out a small phillips head screwdriver I have in there, and pretend to fix the brackets for the swing gate in the kitchen. The other day, my father-in-law was doing some work on his room, hanging a shelf, and Logan got excited about the box of tools on the floor. Maybe I should just happen to leave a couple of my D&D manuals out by his train table and see if he takes an interest...

Anyway, I had a good run as the preferred parent, but the interests of a toddler are fleeting, and I bet it wont be long before I don’t get the reaction of running and screaming when I ask for a hug.

On a side note, I did grow a mustache/goatee, which I did last winter too, but I’ve had that going since Halloween, so I don’t think that would be the cause of the change, but I could be wrong.

7 comments:

Nathan said...

Don't worry, you'll get the kid back when it's time to do stupid macho stuff.

Konstantin said...

As a parent who has a 4-yeard-old I can honestly say from experience, that I don't remember anything from the 2-3 year old period.

Time flies fast, but me and my wife have alwyas been alternating the go-to-bed routines. Different books, different songs. Never had a specific parent requst.

mattw said...

Welcome Konstantin!

It just kind of happened that I was usually the one to put Logan to bed and it's stuck ever since. The other night I was about to take him upstairs and, with him in my arms, we asked who he wanted to put him to bed, my wife or me. He turned to Brandi and said "bye-bye" very clearly.

Last night he didn't even want me to put him in his pjs. Go figure.

As far as the books go, he has a core group of favorites that he requests by name.

Wifey said...

Don't worry as soon as we bring home another baby he will want nothing to do with me. I am sure he will be back to his all Daddy all the time ways soon.

Eric said...

If you haven't already seen them, you might seek out Wil Wheaton's posts/writings on playing D&D with his sons.

That's the kind of thing that makes me wish I was a parent. There's a lot of bad things about being a kid these days, but it's a good time to be a geek; I don't think I could teach a son or a daughter to throw a baseball especially well, but I sure as hell could show one the importance of rolling 20s....

Carol Elaine said...

Many moons ago my very young nephew recognized me only if I had my hair down. If my hair was in a ponytail he'd shy away and run for mommy or daddy. Soon as I took the barrette out of my hair, he smiled a big smile and ran to me.

Toddlers are interesting creatures.

mattw said...

Whenever I get my hair cut Logan will give me some serious looks for a half hour or so after I get home because he's not sure it's me.