Fellow blogger Jeri has started a headline game for people out in the intertubes to make up some fun/funny headlines about one another (based on a funny post over on Eric's blog about some nutjob). I've only contributed one headline, but so far, it's been picked up by Nathan, Janiece, John the Scientist, and I'm sure there are or will be others. Bounce around and check them out. From the one's that I've seen it's a very Oniony exercise. So check it out, leave a headline, whatever. I'm relatively new to the UCF, so there might not be as much fodder for me, but go nuts anyway. I could use a laugh. Here's a headline to start.
Woodworking Journalist Sits Down for Heart-to-Heart with Trees
(which I kind of did here)
Making it all up as I go.
About Me
- mattw
- I am a library professional, father, and husband. When I've got the time I like to read a little, write a little, or just float around in my own little delusions. You can contact me at mwarnock82 @ yahoo.com
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Thanks to Random Michelle for the Logo
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Milquetoast Librarian Attempts to Breaks Speed Record in Experimental Plane
Milquetoast librarian Matt Warnock today failed to break the air speed record in his experimental plane "Bite Me."
Tired of his persona as a quiet, not-man-of-action, Mr. Warnock decided to attach the cockpit of his plane to a Saturn Rocket in an effort to break the air speed record and establish his street cred.
Unfortunately, the intrepid adventurer used only a soldering iron to attach his cockpit, so the structure fell apart prior to leaving the ground.
When asked about this ill-fated attempt, Mr. Warnock was quoted as saying, "I was going to use an arc welder, but I had to reshelve some books over at the library. I'd like to try again, but I don't think my wife is too hip on that idea. She kind of runs the show around here."
Mrs. Warnock could not be reached for comment.
"She kind of runs the show around here."
Too true.
Long acknowledged as the editing mastermind and ghost writer behind the the collaborative business bestseller by Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, Matt and his family live a reclusive life on their gated enclave known only as "The Farm". His eldest son is rumored to be dating the youngest Gates daughter, but the paparazzi have yet to confirm that with a picture.
Matt, a commercial-rated pilot, has recently taken delivery on this year's newest Lear Jet. He plans to fly members of the mysterious secret society known only as the UCF to Singapore for the next Worldcon, where it's rumored the group will determine the Hugo vote.
Matt Warnock received a police escort today to the Federal Courthouse in DC.
He has agreed to enter the witness protection program after his testimony against the man known only as John the Scientist and against the secret organization suspected in the fall of Tongo CEO Shawn Powers, the UCF.
After the death of the man known only as Eric, Warnock claimed to have received threats from John the Scientist, and a man known only to police as "Jim."
Another witness, called only Janiece to help protect her anonymity, was quoted as saying, "That Jim is a complete asshole. And John the Scientist? I wouldn't trust him farther than I could throw his car. I'm glad Matt had the nerve to stand up to 'em."
The trial begins next week.
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