Thursday, February 19, 2009

Acclaimed Horror Novelist Assassinated World-Famous Musician!

Hello everyone. I’m back from my trip, and managed to make it into the office without getting into an accident today, despite all of the ice and snow on the roads. I was going to blog about my trip today (which was nice. I ate a Whataburger, which was good and greasy, which was probably why it was so good.) I was going to blog about my flights, which were actually early and properly air-conditioned. But then I came across a fun little item on BoingBoing this morning.

Did you know that John Lennon wasn’t murdered by Mark David Chapman? Oh no, apparently, he was murdered by acclaimed and prolific horror novelist Stephen King! And what’s more, Lennon wasn’t just murdered, it was all part of a political assassination that was plotted by King, Richard Nixon and Ronald Regan!

At least, that’s what crackpot Steve Lightfoot would have you believe. This is from his website:

The story about Mark Chapman is a cover-up. Bold print government cryptographic codes that include the killer’s face and true identity, the killer’s alleged name and letter to the editor printed before the murder and Richard Nixon’s book, The Real War, in back issues of Time, Newsweek, and US News and World Report magazines printed before, during, and after the night of December 8, 1980 prove that Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan arranged for the author Stephen King, then barley famous, to assassinate John Lennon. That King’s writings draw, dramatically, from the crime and that he taunts us all in his interviews and comments only makes this the story of a lifetime. My 24-page booklet contains everything you've seen here and much more. Please order your copy. I guarantee it is the absolute truth about what really happened to John Lennon. Happy Code Cracking!

His site includes a bunch of random seeming headlines that have some kind of code in them, I guess. There are excerpts from King’s works and interviews where Lightfoot says the author all but admits he did it. There’s also a long, rambling, typo-infused story of Lightfoot’s life and how he came to posses his incredible powers of detecting bullshit and liars (maybe he should turn that power on himself), which lead him to discover the clues and piece together the puzzle of Lennon’s true murderer.


Lightfoot recently made a statement at a Sarasota city meeting about how the city was harboring a fugitive (King) and was therefore keeping other celebrity types away. I guess the aging author, who hasn’t been in the best of health since he was hit by that van years ago, is going to go around shooting up celebrities if they move to that part of Florida. What’s more, King doesn’t live within the jurisdiction of the city of Sarasota, he lives in Sarasota County, so there’s nothing the city officials could do about it any way. Lightfoot was laughed at and removed from the meeting. There’s video of it here.

There’s so much material to cover here, and so little time to do it in, so I’ll leave you with that. Needless to say, the guy’s a whackadoo, and might need to get some professional help. His website’s worth a laugh, and if you’re a believer, you can support Lightfoot’s cause and help get the truth out there by buying his 24-page booklet of “evidence” for only $5.

13 comments:

Eric said...

Oh. My.

That's precious. And I shouldn't be laughing at somebody who so clearly needs help... except that the page where Lightfoot's plea for support from Florida residents deteriorates into a lengthy rant about how his van got towed brought tears to my eyes.

mattw said...

I didn't see that before. That is precious.

mattw said...

And here's a picture of the van.

Konstantin B. said...

Hola, ninos. My Name is Matt Foley and I am a motivational speaker. I am twice divorced and LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!

Jim Wright said...

Oh holy shit - He's not part of the anti-LHC crowd too, is he?

Because that would be the little crazy sprinkles on the crazy cake with crazy frosting.

Jim Wright said...

Um, didn't you follow the links at the bottom of his page? Yoko is no help?

Seems he, uh, went to UC Berkley. Coincidence?

Jim Wright said...

Oh. My. God.

It's like a car wreck, I can't look away. Damn you, Matt.

mattw said...

I only got to look at so much of it while I was at work, but it's definitely the gift that keeps on giving.

mattw said...

I love how he says that if he succeedes in his plan that it will be the most important thing done for humanity since Jesus Christ.

Jim Wright said...

Yeah, he sure is impressed with himself.

I've got to say this guy sounds exactly like certain members of the anti-LHC crowd - I don't mean content, but tone and similar over inflated sense of importance.

How the hell did you come across this?

mattw said...

There was a mention on boingboing yesterday about his appearance at the Sarasota City Council meeting.

Boingboing is a magical place online.

Tom said...

You had a What-a-Burger? Every time I go back to Houston (well, almost every time), I have to have a What-a-Burger and a Chocolate Malt. Yes, they actually sell Chocolate Malts.

Double-meat, no cheese, please.

mattw said...

Tom, I had the classic patty melt, which the sign said was only for a limited time. Two patties on Texas toast, cheese, onions and creamy pepper sauce. Yum.