Monday Motonay Madness: The Problem with Space Monkeys

I know I missed Friday. My appologies. Very busy at work and being out of town and all.

The Problem with Space Monkeys

The space monkeys of legend are a band of ruthless marauders from a parallel dimension. Much of their origin is still shrouded in mystery. It is known that they are the result of a misguided series of experiments, however, the scientists responsible for their first appearances have all been terminated at the hands of their creation.

The monkeys taste for carnage is insatiable. At their beginnings, their numbers were small, but as they plundered and conquered new lands on their home world their forces grew. There are few that have survived an encounter with this menace. Those that have lived tell horrific tales of chaos and destruction. It was not long before the monkeys gained the means to travel among the cosmos and then between dimensions.

The space monkeys are different from average monkeys in a few ways. Their skin and fur are green. They can come in different shades, but they are invariably green. Engineered with hyper-intelligence, they are adept problem solvers and stand just behind man in their inventiveness. Also, they are generally larger than their Earth counterparts.

Once they set their sites on a planet there is generally no stopping them. Earth is a precious jewel, and coveted by the space monkeys, among others. For the time being, the wombats as well as some other galactic forces stand at our door to protect the planet against interstellar invasion. It can only be a matter of time though, until something breaks through. Whether that be the space monkeys or an unidentified other remains to be seen.

Missing You

It's Tuesday, my second day away from home and I just wanted to write my wife to say that I'm missing her very much. It sucks being half way across the country and not being able to share what I'm experiencing. It sucks having to sleep alone in the bed at night, although the big bed to myself is nice. I miss my wife and son a lot, and I'm not going to get to see either for two days. But that's the way it has to be since I said I'd go on this business thingie.

Brandi, I hope you're not missing me too much. But I would imagine with Logan around, you're not getting a lot of time to think about missing me. I love you, I miss you both. I'll see you in two days!

For a Special Lady

I'm out of town this week from Monday until Thursday and I'm sure my wife's missing me, so here's a little post to cheer her up. Scrubs is one of her favorite shows and she's always talking about how funny this scene is, so here it is.



I miss you honey. Can't wait to see you when I get home.

Monday Monotany Madness: "Well I'll Be"

"Well I'll Be"

Officer Williams stared at the puddle of goo that glowed a dull yellow in the fading light. Farmers in the area had been reporting strange behavior among their animals. Even Williams' dog, a lazy old golden retriever had seemed a little skittish the last couple days.

He saw the glow of the puddle as he drove by on the way to the station. He had been called out on account of the Davis boy who had been caught peeping in young Cindy Barstow's window. He almost missed the glow, and so stopped about 20 yards down the road.

The glowing goo quivered a little, yet there was no wind, and nothing coming down the road that might cause the shake. He picked up a thin stick and squatted down to poke it. The stick sank to its center. When Williams tried to pull it out, it stuck. He yanked harder and the stick broke, which caused him to lose his balance and fall on his rear.

The puddle changed color from yellow to red and sucked the rest of the stick in with a soft slurp. After a moment the stick disappeared, having been dissolved. A butterfly drifted over off of a nearby wildflower. As it passed over the goo a club-like shape shot out and struck the insect. The butterfly, stunned by the blow and caught in its stick grasp was pulled into the center where it too dissolved.

"Well I'll be," said the officer.

Funtastic Friday Follies: The Rock of KI

The Rock of KI

Marcus had finally found his prize, the Rock of Ki, a talisman of ancient Sumeria. After years of research and a lifetime scouring Mesopotamia he found the smooth black diamond in a strange garden full of statues andhidden away in a steep and winding valley. A valley that he felt descended to the very core of the earth until it opened into the great garden of men, seemingly carved from the rock.

Aside from its intrinsic value, he came across one reference after another of the jewel's value as a weapon. Many scrolls and ancient texts said it had the power to decimate mighty armies, to crumble enemy forces and bring their cities to ruin. He read these accounts so often that he believed them to betrue. Only one text warned of the jewel's effects on the unworthy, and he paid this little heed.

With greed, glory and greatness in his mind, He clutched the talisman tightly in his right hand, turned and stepped off the dais. As he walked, a heavy feeling grew in his right hand. He looked down to see his fist draining of color and transforming into unyielding rock. A heavy numbness crept up his arm as the stone replaced flesh. He screamed in panic and tried to fling the stone, but his fist remained closed. The stone spread to his shoulder, across his chest and up his neck. With his last vision he beheld the hundreds of statues. Their faces came in all shapes and sizes, but they all shared the same look of panic and the same frozen scream.

Sick, Sick, Sick

As you may have guessed, I'm sick. And it's got me really worried/annoyed. It's no fun and I just want it to be done. I don't want to go to the doctor, because I don't enjoy the doctor and I don't want to get lectured about this and that. It all started last Wednesday when I was at the night job and my son threw up and got a sudden fever. The wife called all in a huff and I rushed home to help out. The poor little guy was laying down not doing anything, just watching Toy Story, a single tear perched on the side of his nose. I stayed home to help take care of him the next day and his fever was high most of the day after that and he got a little rash. My wife called the doctor and she said it was a normal thing for kids his age and to just monitor it and not be too alarmed. By Friday he was pretty much back to his normal self.

So it was all good, right? Nope, sorry, you're not in the clear yet. Saturday evening, my wife started to not feel good and then WHAMMO! out of nowhere she's got this big fever 102 something. YOWZA! So Saturday night/Sunday I'm playing Dr. Dad, trying to entertain the little one and take care of my wife while she's burning up. Sunday afternoon her fever's starting to come down and she's feeling marginally better when...WHAMMO! I'm standing in the kitchen doing whatever and I'm suddenly very dizzy. That feeling lasts for an hour or two and then KERPLOWIE! I'm suddenly very, very cold and I'm shivering despite the warm afternoon temperatures. Then later BIFF! my temperature starts climbing.

Monday morning, I was feeling a little better but still had a pretty good fever going (101 something). Since I had taken Thursday off and I have deadlines coming up fast, I figured that I couldn't take the day off work. Somehow I made my way through the day and actually got some stuff done. Then yesterday I had a very slight fever when I woke up, 99.63, and I was feeling better, but my throat was starting to hurt. Now my throat still hurts, it feels swollen, there are spots on the back of my throat, and I have some kind of rash on my hands and I'm worried.

According to my little amount of Internet research this morning: sore throat + high fever + swolen throat/tonsils + spots + rash = strep. I can't have strep right now. That would not be good for anyone. I don't get a day off until Sunday and then Monday I'm going out of town until next Thursday night. I'm really hoping that it's just a sore throat after being sick. I doubt I'd be able to get into a doctor in the next two days to get antibiotics and I'm worried that I could infect my family or coworkers if it is strep. I mentioned what I thought I have to one coworker this morning and he's (jokingly) acting like I'm a lepper.

Think positive. It's just a sore throat, right? Right?

Monday Monotany Madness: The Disease

The Disease

The disease ran rampant through the fort, leaving none free of its debilitating force. None, that is, except for Victor, the blind prophet. His magical formulas kept him free of the malignant airs that incapacitated the others. The first afflicted was the young prince, however, he recovered quickly, which heartened the beautiful maiden and the clumsy troll who were his keepers. The maiden feared for her own well being, and sure enough, she was the next to be struck down by the disease. Her body grew so hot as to nearly start a fire wherever she lay. The troll, thinking himself immune of the diseases of man, was suddenly struck with a powerful dizziness, as if he had been blasted with a wizard’s hex. Gradually, his body grew hotter and hotter until it too could start fires with simple contact with the objects around him. The fair maiden recovered enough to care for the fair prince once more, but the troll had not recovered fully by the time he had to set upon his work.