Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Overheard Conversation "...cause you're from India"

This morning I stopped in the gas station to by a big-ass Pepsi, since tired Matt was tired and only got about five hours sleep last night.

When I went into the gas station there was a gruny looking 20-something guy talking to the clerk. The conversation went like this.

Grungy guy: ...I recycle this stuff, steel, old stuff, whatever. There's all this stuff that was our fathers' and grandfathers' and people are just throwing it out. Like this *grabs something on the counter* imagine this was something from the 20s and people are just throwing it out. I take it and recycle it.

Clerk: How do you recycle it?

Grungy guy: I hold onto it for a week and then I try to sell it on Craigslist or in the newspaper. Or I'll go to a flea market, a swap meet. You know what a swap meet is cause you're from India.

Me: *jaw drop*

The guy went on to talk about how he also collects stuff from hoarders "You know, those people that have shit stacked up 25 feet high."

The clerk, as near as I could tell didn't bat an eye. I'm sure they get a lot of people saying strange, or obnoxious, or offensive things all the time. Still, it was not at all what I was expecting to hear on my way into work this morning.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Dear Library User, How Hard is it to Follow the Fucking Rules?

This rant brought to you by the asshole with the bagel.

Specifically, I'm talking about the rules that have been established for users at the library I work at. It's not hard. Really, there are only a few rules that one must be aware of and abide by, and even those aren't really that hard.

The rules that I'm talking about are:
1. Lidded beverages are okay, non-lidded beverages, not so much.
2. No food allowed. Period. If you want to eat, take it outside (meaning outside outside), or take it to the brand new, shiny and wonderful cafe that was built for you unappreciative assholes and just opened a couple weeks ago.
3. This is a quite zone, which means no group work and no talking on your cell.

In case you are unclear about any of these things, there are signs posted all over that repeat these rules and indicate if maybe rule three doesn't apply because of the area you're in.

Of the above rules, I've never had a problem with the first one. A few times a week we have to talk to people about 2 and 3. Usually it's not a big deal.

You may not realize that I can see pretty much everything going on in the library from the counter. It is a big open space after all. You also may not realize that because of the way this building was designed and the way the acoustics are, I can hear just about everything that goes on, especially when there are less than a dozen people in here, as there were this morning.

So when you sit down about 20 feet from the desk and start unwrapping the wax paper bag that holds your bagel, what do you think the most likely outcome is going to be? I'll tell you what it is. I'm going to roll my eyes, look for where the sound came from, come out from behind the counter and tell you that food is not allowed. Your options at this point are either to 1. put it away until you leave or 2. take your food to the above mentioned cafe and eat it there.

Of course you took the high road, what with your frustrated sigh, and jamming your bagel back into the bag, getting up in a huff before I was done talking, and storming out to the other end of the hall to stare into the library (from the other library where food still isn't allowed) and eat your bagel in silent fury. Oh, and saying "Thanks bro" to me as you walked in was total class. I hope you choked on that bagel just a little bit.

I understand that it's finals next week and you're probably pretty stressed about that. And hey, it's early-ish in the morning and you're probably hungry. Maybe you should have eaten your bagel before coming into the big building full of books where food isn't allowed.

Now I've been dwelling on this for far too long, and it's starting to color my Friday poorly. I wasn't looking forward to today anyway, but you've really put the icing on the cake.

I should really get back to work, because there are a couple guys that have been whispering this whole time and I should probably say something to them. Maybe one of them will give me a big 'ol thank you like you did.