Tuesday, June 24, 2008
My Brain Hurts
Transcribing today. Ugh, this has to be the worst part of my job. Even data entry is preferable to this. And still 20 minutes of tape to go, which will take forever. Does anyone want to take over for me? Anyone?
Monday, June 23, 2008
Monday Monotany Madness: The Bigfoot Lady
For any UCFers looking for Charlotte Misner, chapter 5, it will be done by the end of the night, I promise.
The Bigfoot Lady stands at the edge of the forest in her long, blue overcoat. Every day she tosses syrup-laden pancakes into the edge of the woods, hoping to entice Bigfoot to come out and say hello. At her feet is a stereo playing a mix-tape of Wookie sounds from the Star Wars movies. While she stands there she hums a soft tune as waits for her hairy man to come. Little does she realize that Bigfoot is more into Star Trek and his favorite color is indigo.
The Bigfoot Lady
The Bigfoot Lady stands at the edge of the forest in her long, blue overcoat. Every day she tosses syrup-laden pancakes into the edge of the woods, hoping to entice Bigfoot to come out and say hello. At her feet is a stereo playing a mix-tape of Wookie sounds from the Star Wars movies. While she stands there she hums a soft tune as waits for her hairy man to come. Little does she realize that Bigfoot is more into Star Trek and his favorite color is indigo.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Funtastic Friday Follies: The Repository
I know, I know, I missed last week, but I was busy. Ok?
With reverence and more than a little caution Double B opened the repository. The doors opened slowly, the air creating a low whoosh noise. For a minute she stood, gazing at the collection as she liked to from time to time. For generations her family had been coming to the repository, now deep in the wasted lands, to add to its collection.
This was not just an average visit. Today she had something to add, something special. She could sense that it would be a jewel in the collection.
Slowly, almost ritualistically, she removed the black leather glove from her left hand. Her immaculate nails gleamed in the stark, white light. She choose her index finger, always her favorite for extraction, and inserted it in her right nostril. It took but a moment's digging to retrieve, and it slid from her nose satisfactorily.
She studied the specimen, looking at it from different angels. She couldn't have asked for better. Then she had to find a place to set it. Some members of her family were content to flick their treasures anywhere, but not Betsy. She selected a spot in the middle of one of the shoulder-high shelves, among samples, hard and brittle, that dated back 100 years or more. Gently, she pried it from the tip of her finger and placed it on the shelf. Then she stepped back, took one last look around, replaced her glove, and resealed the repository of the Booger Family.
The Repository
With reverence and more than a little caution Double B opened the repository. The doors opened slowly, the air creating a low whoosh noise. For a minute she stood, gazing at the collection as she liked to from time to time. For generations her family had been coming to the repository, now deep in the wasted lands, to add to its collection.
This was not just an average visit. Today she had something to add, something special. She could sense that it would be a jewel in the collection.
Slowly, almost ritualistically, she removed the black leather glove from her left hand. Her immaculate nails gleamed in the stark, white light. She choose her index finger, always her favorite for extraction, and inserted it in her right nostril. It took but a moment's digging to retrieve, and it slid from her nose satisfactorily.
She studied the specimen, looking at it from different angels. She couldn't have asked for better. Then she had to find a place to set it. Some members of her family were content to flick their treasures anywhere, but not Betsy. She selected a spot in the middle of one of the shoulder-high shelves, among samples, hard and brittle, that dated back 100 years or more. Gently, she pried it from the tip of her finger and placed it on the shelf. Then she stepped back, took one last look around, replaced her glove, and resealed the repository of the Booger Family.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
You Spin Me Write Round
Nathan over at Polybloggimous has started another round robin writing experiment. This time it’s taking on a more serious vein, following the exploits of one Charlotte Misner, a woman in the 1940s who has to make it on her own while raising her deceased sister’s three very young children and working to support them.
It’s a challenge because it’s definitely not in any of the genre type stuff that I’ve worked on before (mostly fantasy/sci-fi). I’m up at bat right now and the task is a little daunting. I’ve got a start, but I’m not sure where I want to try and steer the story. The one thing that strikes me about the four chapters that have come before is that while Charlotte has had some obstacles to over come, those obstacles have been overcome much too easily.
Ugh, what to do? Maybe Charlotte will be attacked by a vicious land shark. Perhaps she will discover that the children are really the three parts of a mystical talisman that will be the key to ending WWII, but to make the talisman work, she must be willing to sacrifice them. Or maybe she’ll discover a secret recipe for spaghetti that will promote peace and love.
Enough blathering. There’s work to do!
It’s a challenge because it’s definitely not in any of the genre type stuff that I’ve worked on before (mostly fantasy/sci-fi). I’m up at bat right now and the task is a little daunting. I’ve got a start, but I’m not sure where I want to try and steer the story. The one thing that strikes me about the four chapters that have come before is that while Charlotte has had some obstacles to over come, those obstacles have been overcome much too easily.
Ugh, what to do? Maybe Charlotte will be attacked by a vicious land shark. Perhaps she will discover that the children are really the three parts of a mystical talisman that will be the key to ending WWII, but to make the talisman work, she must be willing to sacrifice them. Or maybe she’ll discover a secret recipe for spaghetti that will promote peace and love.
Enough blathering. There’s work to do!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Here We Go Again
Ok, so this morning a friend and former coworker sent me this link: www.writersdigest.com/popularfictionawards
I know, it's evil, but writers are gluttons for punishment right? The basics of it is that Writer's Digest has a genre/popular fiction writing competition. Sounds like fun. I just entered a story in the Writer's Digest Short Story competition not too long ago. I'm working on a couple other projects right now, so I'll have to come up with something new, but I've got time. As of today, the competition is 138 days away.
Here are the basics:
Deadline: November 3
Fee: $12.50
Word Count Limit: 4,000
Genres: Romance; Mystery/Crime Fiction; Science Fiction/Fantasy; Thriller/Suspense; Horror
Grand Prize: $2,500 cash, $100 worth of Writer's Digest Books and the 2009 Novel & Short Story Writer's market
Also of note, Grand Prize winners in any Writer’s Digest competition in the last three years are ineligible. Therefore, since I’ll be winning the short story competition this year (keep positive), I won’t qualify.
For those of you who might stop by and are looking for a story bone to get things going, here is a writing prompt per genre, feel free to use whatever.
Romance: After being prepped for a photo shoot, Fabio catches his reflection in the mirror and falls in love with himself.
Mystery/Crime Fiction: A rich old man dies in a garbage strewn alley on Chicago’s south side. Police are baffled by the fact that only apparent murder weapon is a rubber chicken.
Science Fiction/Fantasy: Rusty the Knight (he is so named because of the condition of his armor due to overactive sweat glands) must travel a great distance to slay the icy Dairy Queen and free the land from her cold, creamy clutches.
Thriller/Suspense: A city is held in the grip of fear as genetically modified gorillas — controlled by a group of eco-terrorists — pillage and plunder, leaving no one safe. Their only hope is a squad of elite military personnel lead by Jane Goodall.
Horror: There’s a reason that no one every goes into the old Mackenzie place at the end of the block. There’s a reason no animal will set foot on the property. And if realtor extraordinaire Kent Turkelton is going to get the commission of a lifetime, he’ll need to go in there and find out. The house knows, and it’s waiting for him.
Happy writing!
I know, it's evil, but writers are gluttons for punishment right? The basics of it is that Writer's Digest has a genre/popular fiction writing competition. Sounds like fun. I just entered a story in the Writer's Digest Short Story competition not too long ago. I'm working on a couple other projects right now, so I'll have to come up with something new, but I've got time. As of today, the competition is 138 days away.
Here are the basics:
Deadline: November 3
Fee: $12.50
Word Count Limit: 4,000
Genres: Romance; Mystery/Crime Fiction; Science Fiction/Fantasy; Thriller/Suspense; Horror
Grand Prize: $2,500 cash, $100 worth of Writer's Digest Books and the 2009 Novel & Short Story Writer's market
Also of note, Grand Prize winners in any Writer’s Digest competition in the last three years are ineligible. Therefore, since I’ll be winning the short story competition this year (keep positive), I won’t qualify.
For those of you who might stop by and are looking for a story bone to get things going, here is a writing prompt per genre, feel free to use whatever.
Romance: After being prepped for a photo shoot, Fabio catches his reflection in the mirror and falls in love with himself.
Mystery/Crime Fiction: A rich old man dies in a garbage strewn alley on Chicago’s south side. Police are baffled by the fact that only apparent murder weapon is a rubber chicken.
Science Fiction/Fantasy: Rusty the Knight (he is so named because of the condition of his armor due to overactive sweat glands) must travel a great distance to slay the icy Dairy Queen and free the land from her cold, creamy clutches.
Thriller/Suspense: A city is held in the grip of fear as genetically modified gorillas — controlled by a group of eco-terrorists — pillage and plunder, leaving no one safe. Their only hope is a squad of elite military personnel lead by Jane Goodall.
Horror: There’s a reason that no one every goes into the old Mackenzie place at the end of the block. There’s a reason no animal will set foot on the property. And if realtor extraordinaire Kent Turkelton is going to get the commission of a lifetime, he’ll need to go in there and find out. The house knows, and it’s waiting for him.
Happy writing!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Being a Geek is Fun
What follows is an actual email conversation between myself and a former coworker, and it all started with this photo. Note: the former coworker isn't a geek, but I had little difficulty in pulling her into a geeky frame of mind.To: former coworker
Subject: My new ride
Me: It makes the commute much more tolerable.
Former Coworker: That's hysterical!!! :-) Did you get to do an interview for custom plane interiors or are you learning to fly on the sly?
Me: I went on a "green" tour in Oregon. We started in Portland, then went to Medford and Bend. Each day Timber Products, one of the sponsoring companies, used their jet to get us from place to place.
FC: OK. Now I am REALLY jealous!! I went on a forest to furniture tour once
in PA and I only got BUSSED around.
I'm hexing you as we type. $#^$%$^%&*^^$
Me: Good thing I've got my anti-hex ring with a +5 to awesomeness. (Ok, I am a mega-nerd.)
FC: That's no match for my truth lasso (borrowed from my good friend wonder woman) which can also be used to depower the anti-hex ring (making the wearer develop fuscia polka dots the size of a bread plate with purple squares in the middle.) Careful................you don't know who you're dealing with do you........
Me: Oh yeah!?! Well I'll block it the shield of Perseus, which will reflect it all back at you and I'll call up my buddy the one-eyed, one-horned, flying fuscia-polka-dot-eater to come pay you a visit. Take that!
FC: I see. Well. That leaves me no alternative. I'll just jump in the invisable plane (kept secretly in my yard under the guise of trees and bushes) and run him down mid flight then fly by and drop knoxious gas filled with glitter all over your new ride.
Me: Not glitter!!! That stuff gets everywhere, and even when you've spent hours cleaning up and you think there can't possibly be any more it just keeps popping up.
FC: Well that's why you can't mess w/suburbamom. We know the secret to driving others nuts.
Me: I tremble before your vast and mighty powers.
FC: Now if only my kids believed in my powers...I could rule the universe (known on earth as my house)
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