Thursday, February 12, 2009

Pothole to the Center of the Earth (dun Dun DUN!)

Today, as I was driving in to work, I saw the *cue dramatic voice over* Pothole to the Center of the Earth. I was eastbound on Route 58 (Golf Road) and the pothole was in the far right lane as you pass under I-294. I saw the monster of a hole just in time, which prompted an "oh shit" as I swerved toward the shoulder and a "please, please, please" as I passed over it. You see, there isn't much room on the right, because there's some kind of construction going on, so the lanes shift under the bridge and I didn't want to run into the cement barricades.

This hole was a monster it was. From what I could see, it looked to be about two feet long, nearly a foot wide and as much as a foot deep. I could see the fire's of Hell burning at the center, and I heard that this is one of the locations that the Mole People will be staging their invasion of the surface world.

The Underminer, leader of the Mole People.
Mole People typically have poor eyesight and avoid bright lights.

Beyond the hole, I saw at least five cars that had stopped on the shoulder going up the onramp to I-294 and on the toll way itself that all had flat front passenger-side tires. I managed to successfully avoid the hole and escape unscathed.

I travel this route every day and have seen the hole before, but it never looked as big as it did today. I'm assuming this monstrous hole has grown on a steady diet of melting snow and ice, fluctuating temperatures and constant wear. By tomorrow, the hole will probably have swallowed half of Chicagoland, growing exponentially as it links with other potholes of monumental proportions, which Chicago is known to have.

Potholes like the one above have been known to swallow suburbans whole.

One of the first things I did this morning was go onto the Illinois Department of Transportation website and let them know about this soon-to-be-swimming pool. Hopefully they'll fill it quickly.


Some dude stuck in the Midwest said...

That's strange. I didn't see that one. I take 294 Northbound in the morning coming from the west.

mattw said...

Hmmm. Cause that's where I'm coming from too. It's right there in the right hand lane on the right side of the lane, just as you would be passing under the bridge and the lanes are shifting to the right.

mattw said...

And I would be going northbound on 294 too.

vince said...

Damn, that's some potholes you guys raise out there.