The Loot Cometh, The Loot Goeth

A while back, I won the Nathan's "Write Me A Headline" Contest. Go ahead and read all about it. The prize for such an illustrious contest? Why it is Panavision ballcap from the Steven Segal movie "Marker," which was retitled to "Pistol Whipped" before it was released.

Well guess what? The cap came yesterday. But since yesterday was pretty hectic around here (and today too up until this point) I'm just getting around to blogging about it now. So first I'd like to say thank you to Nathan, fearless leader to the UCF and mustachioed man of mystery.

Nathan later had a couple of words of caution when he sent the hat, "A couple of things to warn you about. I left the hat-band set to fit me. When you get it you'll be able to confirm that I do, in fact, have a tiny little pinhead. Also, even though I washed it before sending it, I got cold walking to the Post Office, so I wore it there; it's got Nathan-Cooties again."

Cooties I don't mind. I got my cootie booster when I was a kid, so I'm covered. However, I wanted to demonstrate for you all just how small Nathan's head really is.

Here is the hat band as it was set when I pulled it out of the shipping envelope:

Here is the hat on Logan's head (fits really well, just a little loose):

Logan liked the hat so much he wanted to wear it while we ate. And thus I lost the hat.

After Logan went to bed, I tried the hat on, in Nathan size, just to see how it would fit:

So there you have it folks, proof positive of Nathan's child-like mind. :) Thanks again Nathan!

My Desk is a Mess

It's deadline day today and we're all feeling a little frazzled. I have a post planned for later this evening or tomorrow morning, but in the mean time, here are some pictures of my very messy desk. Unfortunately, since I played with the icon settings on my comptuer today, this also reflects the state of my desktop on the monitor at work. (click for more detailed views)

Here's the leftmost part of my desk. There are a lot of papers that need to either be filed or recycled. You might notice a pile of rubber bands to the left of my desk caddy, those were all strung together to block off a coworkers cube a couple weeks ago. He threw them at me yesterday. Along the top and taped to the front of my bins are some of the mementos I've picked up along the way.

More detail of the surface of the desk. It's a mess of back issues, papers and pens.


My monitor and tower are festooned with pictures of Logan and some figures. The mug of lousy coffee changes colors when it gets hot to reveal pictures of Logan and me. Then there's sticky notes, a couple of fortune cookie fortunes and the notes from the article I was finishing up this morning.

More pictures of Logan and Brandi on the shelf above my monitor. Under the shelf on the right are a couple of things Logan colored for me. Then we have Optimus Prime on top of the monitor, and on the shelf, Hellboy fighting a giant bat, Smokescreen and Starscream locked in eternal struggle, and some Happy-Meal style car toy that pops open at the turn of a key in back.

The right side of my desk has a whole slew of old stories that need to be sorted and filed. Hanging next to the shelf is my collection of press badges from various trade shows and events. Then there's more pictures of Logan and Brandi and a lot of comic strips that I've printed out over time. The thing in the frame behind the tape dispenser is a Paisley Name. It was given to me as a thank you after I wrote an article about some really artistic cabinet doors a woman had created.

A detail of the desk's surface. It may look neat from this angle, but it isn't, trust me. I think I'll have to do some cleaning up next week.

Jesus and Buddha Have Tea on Mars, Someone Tell National Geographic

Dear National Geographic Society,

Let me preface this letter by saying I wholeheartedly respect the fine things that are done at the National Geographic Society and I think you are doing a great service to society. I myself have been exposed to some very amazing aspects of the world around us through your magazine and documentaries. Your images and information help make the world a better place.

But on the other hand, no one is perfect.

Recently, on a friend's blog, I read about one Andrew D. Basiago is an American attorney and amateur scientist who looked at one of the photos captured by the Mars Rover Spirit and claimed to have found evidence of life on Mars within the image (PIA10214). He said that the image contains "were beings in blue bodysuits and the abstract artwork of a Martian civilization. I was looking at the first evidence of life beyond Earth!" He also claims to have seen "a cosmic treasure trove of pictographic evidence of life on Mars, including humanoid beings, animal species, carved statues, and built structures."

Here is a copy of the image in question.

While I do not see the evidence that Mr. Basiago claims to see, I did notice something startling that your otherwise fine institution has failed to notice. Study the image with a little more scrutiny for a moment and perhaps you will see it. No? Let me show it to you.

Take a close look at the top of that second hill. No, not that one, the one to the right of it. Do you see it now? If it is still a little unclear let me explain. Those three vague lumps you see there, after much study and the consulting of other images I have discerned what they are. On the far left you have a unicorn. The unicorn is standing behind Jesus (center) who is having tea with Buddha (right). I know, I was floored too when I saw it. Go ahead and take a minute if you need it.

Now you might be asking yourself, what would Jesus, Buddha and a unicorn be doing having tea on the surface of Mars? I have given that matter much thought and have conducted research on that too, and I will share it with you now.

You see, Mars would act as the perfect platform from which Jesus could keep an eye on the Earth and then from which to stage his Second Coming. It is far enough away that he can stay out of the pesky affairs of mortals, yet close enough that he can keep an eye on what is happening on the planet. However, based on the findings of the Mars Rover, Mr. Christ might want to rethink his base of operations and move it to another celestial body to avoid detection by human eyes.

As near as I can tell from the ancient texts, Jesus and Buddha would have gotten along well in life. Therefore, it comes as no surprise that Buddha would stop in and say hello to his buddy Christ as he travels the known universe on his continual quest for further enlightenment. I'm sure it gets lonely on the surface of Mars with not many other creatures for Jesus to interact with, so he would appreciate the occasional visit from his friend Buddha. And considering Jesus' innate ability to change liquids into a form of excess, I am certain Buddha does not mind the spiked beverage.

The unicorn is easily explained as well. When God created the great flood and instructed Noah to build an arch and take two of every animal, the unicorn, as well as other magical beasts, were no where to be found. Obviously, God had already taken these creatures off of the planet Earth and absconded with the to parts unknown to save them 1) from the flood and 2) from the human population that might later want to exploit or disect them. This photo shows that at least the unicorn was taken to the surface of Mars, although further exploration might reveal other species of magicial beasties. The unicorn would most likely be haning around Jesus and Buddha's get together for the sugar cubes that would be available with the tea, as well as the companionship from humans.

Based on these findings, who knows what else might be found on the surface of the red planet. This could prove to be just the tip of the iceberg for science and humanity.

I can back these findings up with an extensive amount of data if you so require it. Feel free to contact me for further follow up. Additionally, I have some other interesting findings from some of the Mars Rover's other photos, including a shot that includes an image of Peter Pan skimming through the Mars atmosphere with a couple of children as he takes them on to Never Never Land.

Again, to the people of the National Geographic Society, please do not hesitate to contact me if you would like to discuss my findings further. I expect you would want to put this on the cover of your fine magazine once you have had the opportunity to look over my findings. Being a magazine editor myself, I would be honored with the opportunity to do a full write up for your fine publication.

Best Regards,
Matt

(I couldn't help myself. Someone dared me.)

What's For Dinner

I don't really have anything to talk about today, so since we just got done with dinner a little while ago, I'll talk about that. Tonight we had a genuine Matt Creation.

Brandi pulled out a round steak today, so we had that as a starting point. But what to go with it? My first thought was some Stovetop stuffing, but nah. Been there, done that. What else do we have...ah, noodles.

The round steak was seasoned with garlic powder, a little salt, Italian Seasoning from the spice rack and a splash of Lea & Perrins Worcestershire Sauce. It was then grilled for about four minutes per side over a medium flame. I did have to brush the snow off the grill first. The round steak was a little thinner than I figured, so a little part of one piece got crispified, but I just cut around that later.

Then I made a pot of vermicelli and spaghetti (I was using up the last of a couple of boxes of pasta) and I boiled some broccoli.

While that was all going on I made a thin sauce that was composed of a little of the Worcestershire, some soy sauce, a little water, two cloves of crushed garlic, a little of the Italian Seasoning and a little garlic powder and whisked that all together. All in all, it was maybe a third to a half of a cup of sauce, with this stuff you really don't need much.

With the round steak inside I cut that into thin-ish strips. The noodles were put in a large bowl with the broccoli on top. The round steak was added to that and then the sauce was poured over all of it. The combination was tossed together and ta-da! we're done.

As strong as the sauce is by itself, since there's so little of it mixed with everything else it creates a nice balance of flavor. I've done this a few times before with other combinations of meat and veggies, so I didn't think it would turn out bad.

And that's that. Logan partook of a couple noodles and a little of the round steak without the sauce, and then he had some applesauce.

I really do enjoy experimenting in the kitchen when I'm making dinner. Most of the time it turns out pretty good, but then every once in a while, not so much. Perhaps I'll have to post some more kitchen experiments in the future.

Happy Anniversary, Brandi

Ten years ago today, a very nerdy (picture a high school junior, wearing khakis and a Star Wars or superhero tee shirt, button up long sleeved shirt over it (unbuttoned of course), glasses, pseudo skater hair cut) boy swung for the fences and asked out a girl that was pretty well out of his league. After she said yes, the (clueless) nerdy boy in question then proceeded to join his friends for lunch. Trust me, that was not the last time I (erm...I mean the nerdy boy) would do something stupid. I managed to not screw up too much, however, and have held on to her for the ten years since.

We've been through quite a bit for a couple of kids who are still about two years shy of their ten-year high school reunion (at least to me we have): ilness, in-laws, getting married, having a child, losing a child, etc., etc.

We've both grown, but have been fortunate enough to have grown together, instead of growing apart as many couples are want to do today. We've also grown as people and are happy and still in love with other, despite any differences from when we were in our middle teens. Sure, we still have our share of fights, but they don't result in much, and are resolved quickly. And we still enjoy being around each other, even when one of us, most often me, is being a total pain in the ass.

I try to imagine what my life would be like now if we hadn't started dating ten years ago, or if we had broken up at some point (and trust me, there were a couple of times that I was on thin ice in the beginning), and it's never good. In the worst imaginings I'm an assistant manager at OfficeMax and still living in my parent's house. *shudder* She really has pushed me to achieve the modest accomplishments that I've earned in my adult life.

I remember when we used to celebrate each month, making a point to go out to dinner or a movie, or both. I would have roses for her and we'd meet in the mall after work or go out after school. While we're more apt to do something around our wedding anniversary, we're going to go out and have a nice dinner this evening.

So happy anniversary Brandi. I love you and am looking forward to many more years.

The Best Commercial I've Seen in A While (fixed)

I was watching Star Wars Episode II on Spike the other night. Don't ask me why, I was just channel flipping and it happened to be there. Anyway, at the end they had this great commercial.



Turns out, there are a few of them.

The New Year

Greetings all and Happy New Year to everyone out there. I know it's the fifth already, but I mostly took the long weekend off of the Internets. I tend not to be on the Internet too much when I'm at home. I have other stuff to do, and after being on the computer nearly all day at work, I don't care to spend much time on the computer when I get home.

So what's happened in my life recently?

~I failed to mention earlier that Brandi did an excellent job of baking all of the Christmas cookies, pretty much single-handedly. We had chocolate chip, peanut butter, peanut butter with the Hershey kisses in them, and sugar cookies. Sugar cookies, being my favorite, disappeared the quickest.

~Due to freak weather, Des Plaines has once again cememented it's stance as flood capital of the Midwest. On Saturday, Dec., 27 we had temperatures near 60F and steady hard rain all day. Add to that the frozen ground, and we had water in the basement again. We were ready though and had picked up Logan's toys off the floor. When I left for work that morning there was very little water, it could have been cleaned up with a mop. During the day, the mini-fuse thingie on the sump pump tripped and, since no one heard the pump running all day, they assumed that meant no water. When I got home there was 2-3 inches of water in the basement. It was cold. I almost fell on my face when I hit a slick spot in front of the freezer trying to get to the sump pump to flick the switch. It's all been cleaned up now. Except for the throw rug, which is now a frozen sheet out in the garage. Next time I'll pick that up too.

~We got a Wii Fit for Christmas, which Brandi and I have been very good about using for at least 20 minutes every night. We've both lost a couple pounds so far according to the game.

~Apparently, there's been some big kerfuffle (I love that word) out on the Internets with the UCF. Janiece has got the goods on that, check it out here.

~Logan's just obsessed with Wall-E. And he's learning to use please more often, as in "Wall-E please." It also takes the form of "candy please." Previously it would be "Logan, say please." to which he would respond a very enthusiastic "Yes."

Resolutions:

I've never been one for keeping resolutions for that long. So instead, I'll just talk about the things I'd like to do in 2009.

*Thank's to Kate's totally brave and inspirational post, I'm very determined to lose weight this year. Also thanks to the Wii Fit we got for Chirstmas, I think that will be a more realistic goal than it would have been without something to keep me exercising. I had to thank my mother-in-law for getting us a present that tells me just how much of a fat ass I am. As of last night's weigh in, I'm at 260 and change. My ultimate goal for the year is to get down to 200. I've been carrying around too much weight for too long and I really need to do something about it.

*I really want to try and blog more. I don't guarantee that I'll be blogging every day. I know that wont happen, but I would like to try and blog more often. It won't always be substantial and it wont always be good, I'm sure, but I'll try and get some more content out there.

*I need to write more. I've got my NaNoWriMo novel to work on the revision, and there's talk in the UCF of doing a similar writing thing. So we'll see. If I'm going to be serious about trying to make it as an author, then I really need to work at it. This also includes updating the Piecemeal blog, which I'll get to eventually.

I think that's about all for now. I hope everyone has a safe/happy/healthy 2009!