Tuesday, September 30, 2008

To the Guy That Left Some Glass by Our Garbage

Dear Guy That Left Some Glass by Our Garbage,

Hello, you probably don't know me, but Sunday night you came by my house and left a large pane of glass leaning against the garbage containers. Now, I had placed an old chair out there, which I noticed was gone with the glass seemingly in its place. I'm assuming it was you that took the chair.

Since the chair was out there it was fair game, and I'm glad you took it. I hope you enjoy it as much as it was once enjoyed by my father-in-law whose chair it once was. Although it was in good condition, this chair is about 30 years behind the decor of our house, an we're glad it found a new home. Please, consider it our gift to you.

It becomes apparent, however, that you don't quite understand this concept. You see, since the chair was out at the curb with our garbage and recycling containers, that means we don't want it any longer. And really, I'm glad you came to get it so that this perfectly good chair might go to use somewhere else. Still, this is not a barter system, as you might think. We really do not require, nor do we ask, for anything in exchange for items we may leave on the curb. People do this all over town, you see, and none of them expect anything in return if someone picks up a treasure before the garbage men get to it. We are no different.

Perhaps you left the giant, door-sized pane of glass on the curb thinking that you would come back later to retrieve it once you removed the chair from your car. If that is the case, I can kind of understand that, I've misplaced items before too. If you thought it was some kind of even trade, please I cannot stress this enough, we really don't expect anything for the chair, and I really don't have a use for a door-sized pane of glass. Apparently, the garbage men don't have a use for this either, because they left the glass laying down in the front yard.

So now here I am with your glass that I neither want nor need, and I am left with a conundrum as to what to do with it. If you would like it back, I will have no qualms with giving it up. As far as I am concerned, it's yours, you can have it. I'll even throw in the rubber gasket that framed the glass. Just let me know what time is good for you and we'll arrange a pick up. Until then it will be leaning up against the side of my garage.

To review, if it's out at the curb it's garbage. It is not an item for trade or sale. As far as I'm concerned, if you want it, take it. I would much rather the item is recycled or reused than become more landfill. I can't garuntee this is the same for the whole neighborhood, but I'd be willing to bet it is. I know there are other people who understand this concept, because I've seen the trucks full of junk driving up and down the street on grabage day. Heck, I've liberated a couple of items from the garbage. Yes, I too have dumpster dived, if you will. There's nothing wrong with it and I would fully encourage it, but no return is needed.

I hope this clears things up.

Best Regards,


Shawn Powers said...

Thank you for letting me use your blog. I read it, and enjoyed it.

I leave you with this ampersand, as I seldom use it. Perhaps you want it.


So are we even now?


kimby said...

Is Shawn the "character fairy"...swooping in and leaving ampersands and question marks for all the good little girls and boys?

Tania said...

Hmm. Maybe he perceived a need?

mattw said...

An ampersand I can use! Big 'ol pane of glass, I can't. & I really don't want to smash it to get it into the garbage or recycling container. I wouldn't want someone to get hurt, which I'm sure is the reason the garbage guy didn't take it.

Nathan said...

I was told you were in the market for some punctuation.

Here's some. No, it's on me. Enjoy!

!.,,.??!;::,;& and an * I wasn't using.

Shawn Powers said...

I was looking, Nathan. Had you given away the curly brace I gave you, I'd have been hurt. :D

mattw said...

Are you guys trying to tell me something about my punctuation?